A Leap of Faith

My life feels kind of like this right now:

We've all been so sick off and on for the past almost two months.  I can barely get a handle on anything these days.  I am beginning to feel really depleted.

However, in the midst of all of this illness, some things are happening that I'm really excited about.  I'm planning a Mama's Art Retreat for myself and some close artistic and crafty mama friends.  I've always wanted to attend Squam or ArtFest, but the way our lives are right now, I can't really justify the expense.  Every year I watch amazing women on the blogs I follow head out for these retreats and I always feel a sense of longing.

Okay.  Let's be honest.  I feel jealous.  Which frankly is the exact wrong response. Shouldn't I feel happy for them?  Shouldn't I relish creativity in any form for any person?  As it turns out, I'm human and imperfect.  I feel jealous.  I want to go, too.

So after years of jealousy and guilt and shame about feeling jealous, I thought, why don't I just plan my own?  Now, I have dreams like that all the time.  Most of the time, they just stay in my head.  This time, I was able to make it happen, thanks in large part to am amazing and supportive community of friends.

I don't know how it's going to go.  It's a real leap of faith for me.  Planning things like this isn't my forte.  I don't handle the stress of being in charge or responsible very well.  But so far, so good.