My life feels kind of like this right now:
We've all been so sick off and on for the past almost two months. I can barely get a handle on anything these days. I am beginning to feel really depleted.
However, in the midst of all of this illness, some things are happening that I'm really excited about. I'm planning a Mama's Art Retreat for myself and some close artistic and crafty mama friends. I've always wanted to attend Squam or ArtFest, but the way our lives are right now, I can't really justify the expense. Every year I watch amazing women on the blogs I follow head out for these retreats and I always feel a sense of longing.
Okay. Let's be honest. I feel jealous. Which frankly is the exact wrong response. Shouldn't I feel happy for them? Shouldn't I relish creativity in any form for any person? As it turns out, I'm human and imperfect. I feel jealous. I want to go, too.
So after years of jealousy and guilt and shame about feeling jealous, I thought, why don't I just plan my own? Now, I have dreams like that all the time. Most of the time, they just stay in my head. This time, I was able to make it happen, thanks in large part to am amazing and supportive community of friends.
I don't know how it's going to go. It's a real leap of faith for me. Planning things like this isn't my forte. I don't handle the stress of being in charge or responsible very well. But so far, so good.